TEN THINGS TO DO AFTER THE WORLD CUP

The fat lady is about to sing as the curtain draws on South Africa hosting the 2010 Fifa world cup.

South Africans can be forgiven for wondering what the hell they are going to ‘Wakka Wakka’ from Monday when ‘It’s Gone.’
‘Manje?’ South Africans are asking themselves.

Fret not, because there are still plenty of fun things to do.

I have done you all a favour by doing the groundwork in identifying the ‘must do’ activities in South Africa on Monday 12 July 2010.

1. Drop the children at school. Yay!

2. Go to the nearest informal settlement to find a street vendor. They will still be sleeping. Buy yourself a matching Bafana Bafana T-shirt, flag, makarapa and vuvuzela. Five bucks for the lot. (Tip: Most street vendors will be at the shebeen celebrating the World Cup boom.)

3. DRIVE down the Fan Walk to the nearest world cup stadium and park right in front of the main entrance. Don your gear, wave your flag, blow your vuvu and toyi toyi as you wait for the gates to open. You will be first in the queue.

4. Find a foreigner and offer to sell your Hatfield Square Loyalty Card for a dollar.

5. Print 100 ‘Official Authorised Fifa 2010 Partner’ posters and walk around town randomly issuing them to various establishments.

6. Delete the Gumtree Ad advertising your bachelor flat in Lower Woodstock as ‘Luxury Accommodation Sleeping 10.’

7. Call various hotels in South Africa and enquire about affordable accommodation for the duration of the 2014 SWC.

8. Board any train and insist that you don’t have to pay because you are ‘on your way to the Fan Park.’

9. Auction off your Brazil mirror covers on E-Bay

10. Watch TV.

Kader Khan