We are at a point where men are naively
settling into a comfort zone, and beginning to really enjoy
this sexual equality thing.
And why shouldn’t they.
We are no longer expected to pay for everything.
Nor do we have to go around opening doors, give up our seat
or offer our coat when she decided to brave the cold in
the name of fashion.
The pressure of being the sole breadwinner
is also a thing of the past. Now, we don’t have to
feel guilty about being house-husbands or earning less than
our partners.
There are countless benefits.
But beware brothers.
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While we bask in
our newfound metro-male status, I am beginning to
suspect that the ladies have ulterior motives.
Sinister motives.
They are quietly, very subtly taking over the world,
while we think it’s cute.
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Think about it.
It won’t be long before I will be
off to the salon for an exfoliating scrub and wax before
having a bubble bath in the afternoon, moisturising my skin,
applying make-up and donning the sexy outfit in preparation
for the evening, when, on payday, my lady treats me to a
romantic dinner. (Nandos?) Because I deserve a break from
cooking every day!
I will have to find cunning ways to slyly
shave enough off the housekeeping budget to afford the salon
and makeup, and I’ll probably have to bake cookies
to sell at the fete in order to buy the sexy outfit.
But that’s ok.
She is too busy to be bothered with my little schemes anyway.
Meanwhile, my spouse will be moving steadily
up the corporate or political ladder, and when I am old
and haggard she will trade me in for a sexier and younger
model.
The only benefit is that I would get custody
of the kids.
She wouldn’t want to be weighed down by that responsibility
anyway.
