HOW TO CASH IN ON THE SOCCER WORLD CUP
The 2010 Fifa World Cup is around the
corner.
It’s time to wake up and smell the Koffiehuis.
Make no mistake. This is an opportunity
of a lifetime.
With almost half-a-million soccer fans expected in South
Africa for the tournament, creative-thinking South Africans
will soon be rolling in the cash.
Not all of us are capable of devising
creative ways of exploiting this market, and for many,
selling boerewors rolls or mince salomies is about as
creative as we will get in this field.
You need to come up with
original ideas, something that no one else will think
of, in order to take full advantage of this golden opportunity.
But stress not fair one,
I will share some of my Yummie ideas with you so that
you too can get your deserved share of the booty that
is up for grabs come 11 June.
Here
are five sure-fire strategies that will bring in at least
R1-million for the month:
1.
Write a comprehensive manual called ‘How to Win
a World Cup’, detailing an elaborate plan to assassinate
all the players from all the other teams in the tournament.
Sell this manual to Bafana Bafana for R1-million
2.
Start with R2-million.
Invest R1-million in a music festival on Strandfontein
beach, featuring all the top kwaito acts. Plan this festival
to coincide with the World Cup Final.
Bea in mind that this is winter and the chances of rain
are pretty good, so have a contingency plan in place.
Plan B should be to move the festival into a bungalow
if it rains.
Either way you will lose your investment, but you will
have R1-million left.
3.
As soon as the knockout rounds start, open a flea market
type stall with a gazebo at the departure lounge of OR
Tambo International Airport.
Sell vuvuzelas to all the fans of the teams that have
been eliminated as they leave the country. Offer a special
discount to the actual teams.
Be careful with your pricing structure though, many will
not want to buy the product.
The recommended retail price is R100k each. Even if you
only sell ten you will still make R1-million.
4.
Compile an extensive document in Arabic, name it ‘Al
Qaeda’s Itinerary for 2010 in South Africa.’
Contact the CIA, FBI and M15 and offer the document to
the highest bidder.
If these potential buyers do not bite, offer Jackie Selebi
R10k to accept the document as a gift.
Then sell your story to YOU magazine for R1-million.
5.
Establish a chain of kiosks in close proximity to all
airports, hotels and stadiums across the country. You
know, like the ones that sell lotto tickets.
Rent out each kiosk as budget accommodation for ten people
sharing. Do reasonable rates. Like $50 per person per
night.
Projected income for just ten such kiosks:
10 x $50pp x 30nights x 10 kiosks = $150k = R1-million
