THE ANNOYING PASSENGER ON THE PLANE
Have you ever been on one of those long
distance flights, and you have just settled into your
cramped economy class seat, when a huge grinning sweating
reeking-of-alcohol passenger plomps down in the seat next
to you, extends a sweaty palm and introduces himself ‘I’m
Jonathan Bollocks. We’re in for a long flight so
we might as well get acquainted. What do you say china?’
He then firmly affirms his fat arm on
‘your’ arm rest, half of it almost resting
in your lap, and persistently tries to engage you in conversation,
while asking the hostess for two double whiskeys.
As the hostess leaves he turns to you and grins ‘Phew!
She’s hot! I’d like to get into her pants.
What do say china?’
Well, I have found the perfect
solution to take the grin of his face, his elbow off your
lap and his arm off ‘your’ armrest. In fact
he may just jump out of his seat and off the plane.
Step 1:
Take out your laptop, place it on your lap and switch
it on.
Step 2:
Open up your browser and navigate to this page. Scroll
down and click on the Yummie Babe of the Week link. This
will undoubtedly get his attention.
Step 3:
Hold your hands up in front of your face, palms up, and
start softly murmuring in tongues.
Step 4:
Wipe your face with your hands, then softly
kiss the tips of your fingers.
Step 5:
Sigh deeply
Step 6:
Turn your face towards your irritation and smile humbly,
apologetically at him, while navigating back to this page.
Step 7:
Turn your face back to the laptop, audibly
murmur ‘Allah Hu Akbar’ in a husky pious voice
and kiss the tips of your fingers again, then
click here.
