It’s not really dirty medicine, but
it’s not spotlessly clean either, so if you are wimpish
about sex and construction workers and stuff, click on the
‘previous article’ link below and go
make some nice apple crumble. Have it with whipped cream
if that’s not too sexy for you.
A young woman married
and had 9 children. Her husband died. She soon married again
and had 6more children. Again, her husband died. But, she
remarried and this time had 4 more children.
Alas, she finally croaked.
Standing before her coffin, the preacher thanked the lord
for this loving woman who fulfilled his commandment to "Go
forth and multiply."
In his final eulogy, he noted, "Thank you Lord, they're
finally together."
Leaning over to his neighbour, one mourner asked... "Do
you think he means her first, second or third husband?"
The other mourner replied... "I think he means her
legs."
Two buddies were sharing
drinks while discussing their wives.
"Do you and your wife ever do it doggie style?"
asked the one.
"Well, not in the classic way" his friend replied,
"she's more into the trick dog aspect of it."
"Oh, I see, kinky, huh?"
"Well, not exactly - I sit up and beg and she rolls
over and plays dead."
A husband comes home
with a 5-litre of Aylesbury Royalty. He asked his wife if
she wants some.
"How hard is it?" she asked.
"About as hard as my dick," he replies.
To which the woman replied, "OK, then pour me some!"
Why are married women heavier
than single women?
Single women come home, see what’s in the fridge and
go to bed.
Married women come home, see what’s in the bed and
go to the fridge.
One day a construction worker
left the job a little early, and when
he got home he found his wife in bed with another man. Purple
with rage, he hauled the man down the stairs and into the
garage where he proceeded to secure his dick in a locking
vice.
Utterly terrified, the man screamed, "Stop, stop! You're
not going to cut it off, are you? ARE YOU?"
"Nope," replied the construction worker, "You
are...I'm going to set the garage on fire."
Two 90 year olds had been
dating for a while, when the man told
the woman, "Well, tonight's the night we have sex!"
And so they did.
As they are lying in bed afterward, the man thinks to himself,
"My God, if I knew she was a virgin, I would have been
much more gentle with her!"
And the woman thinks to herself, "My God, if I knew
the old geezer could actually get it up, I would have taken
off my panty hose!"
A woman walks into a drugstore
and asks the pharmacist if he sells size extra large condoms.
He replies, "Yes we do. Would you like to buy some?"
She responds, "No, but do you mind if I wait around
here until someone does?
