HAVE YOU HAD GREAT SEX LATELY? Anna Freud famously wrote that “sex is something you do, sexuality is something you are.” That, and a whole lot of other hogwash, is the reason why there are very few people in the world today who actually have great sex. Lets start with the guys. When it comes down to the act, for creatures so famously consumed by thoughts of sex, men remain remarkably confused about what great sex is and how to have it.

When they do talk, and trust me, most of them do, they often puff themselves up to their peers.
Inclined to exaggerate their exploits, men paint distorted pictures of their sex lives for one another.

In action, they are shadowed by self-doubt, and clouded by myths and misperceptions.
They are addled with anxiety, plagued by concerns over their performance, and worried about the worthiness of their physique during lovemaking.
Mostly about size, but physique none the less. Harder, faster, longer, deeper.

You may think that they are only interested in pleasuring themselves – they even smugly pretend that that’s all it is – but in actual fact they have no clue as to how to really pleasure themselves, let alone you.

 

Women on the other hand have a totally different problem.
Apart from their usual insecurities about their looks and their bodies, they have a very fair idea of how to pleasure themselves.
More correctly, how they want you to pleasure them.

And when it comes to great sex, it is exactly this knowledge that will allow them to pleasure man.
If man will only allow them to.

Women want romance.
They want fondling, touching, caressing, hugging, kissing.
They want to be complimented and made to feel special. They want flowers.
They want to be told that they are beautiful.
They want foreplay and after-play while you whisper sweet nothings in their ear, and ultimately they eventually want multiple volcanic orgasms.

Deep down inside, men want exactly the same thing, except maybe the flowers, but they are too afraid to admit it.
Because admitting that would make them less of a man.

Note to Anna Freud: Great sex is when you incorporate your sexuality into your lovemaking.
When you do what you are.

And sexuality is an individual thing.
No two people are alike.

We have heard a million times that the key is communication.

But where is the man big enough to handle a woman teaching him how to pleasure her?
Teaching him how she can pleasure him?

Where is the woman who is not afraid that the man will think that she is a slut and run like hell if she does attempt that?

And afterwards, the women mostly suffer in silence while the men exaggerate until they believe themselves.

Kader Khan
Editor
info@yummie.co.za