NEW DRIVE-THROUGH ATM MACHINES All major South African banks will soon be installing new drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. It is believed that this will decrease ATM fraud. Special procedures have been researched and developed to ensure that customers have a hassle-free experience at the new machines.

 

A list of these procedures follows:

MALE PROCEDURE
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.

 

FEMALE PROCEDURE
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.

14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.

15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Touch up make up
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.

Kader Khan
Editor
info@yummie.co.za