1. Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes
2. Grow your own dope - plant a man.
3. I took an IQ test and the results were
negative.
4. Better living through denial
5. Too many freaks not enough circuses
6. Is it time for your medication or mine?
7. I started out with nothing & still
have most of it left.
8. Sarcasm is just one of the services I
offer.
9. Stress is when you wake up screaming
& you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
10. I said "no" to drugs, but
they just wouldn't listen.
11. If we aren't supposed to eat animals,
why are they made of meat?
12. A journey of a thousand miles begins
with a cash advance.
13. A penny saved is ridiculous.
14. A day without sunshine is like, you
know, night.
15. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
16. On the other hand, you have different
fingers.
17. Time is what keeps everything from happening
at once
18. Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times
I let her sleep
19. Women who seek to be equal to men lack
ambition
20. Why do psychics have to ask you for
your name?
