MANGLE YOUR WAY TO THE TOP Getting to the top is easier than you may think. Some of us just have no idea how to get there. If, for example, you want to really get to the top as a politician, a sports commentator or even a sportstar-cum-philosopher, all you have to do is confuse the hell out of people. To this effect, you need to master the art of mangling.

The verb mangle is listed in the dictionary as follows.
tr.v. man·gled, man·gling, man·gles
1. To mutilate or disfigure by battering, hacking, cutting, or tearing.
2. To ruin or spoil through ineptitude or ignorance: mangle a speech.

The second meaning is the one you need to master.
Mangle a speech, mangle a statement, and soon you too will be at the top of your game.

About two weeks ago, Iafrica listed the results of a poll to find the top ten manglers.

 

I agree with George W Bush taking first prize for:
"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."

On my personal list of favorites he also takes second prize for:
"I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe — I believe what I believe is right."

The Terminator comes in at a very close third:
During his 2003 election campaign, the bodybuilder-turned-actor-turned-California governor Schwarzenegger, informed the American public:
"I think that gay marriage should be between a man and a woman."

Others who made my list are:

Murray Walker, motor racing commentator:
"The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical."

French footballer-cum philospher Eric Cantona:
"When the seagulls follow the trawler, it's because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea."

London mayor Boris Johnson, on the British gameshow "Have I Got News for You":
"I could not fail to disagree with you less."

Kader Khan
Editor
info@yummie.co.za