I of course got the ‘We are currently
experiencing high call volumes’ message, and had
to suffer the numerous electronic help options that
have nothing to do with my query.
For fok’s sake, all I wanted was to ask someone
if there was a 3G problem in my area.
Eventually, after about 20-minutes,
one of the operators became as soon one is available.
‘Hellohowyo Imfine you speaking to (undecipherable
name)’ she said.
‘Tell me’ I said, ‘is
there a 3G problem in the Milnerton area?’
‘Can you give your cell number.’ She responded.
I resisted the urge to tell her that
I preferred keeping the number and that I did not want
to go through the hassle of getting a new number.
I bit on my teeth and also refrained from enquiring
as to why she needed my number.
Could it be possible that there was a 3G problem in
the area, but with my number exclusively?
‘You have to phone Nashua.’
she said after I gave her my number ‘Your contract
is with them.’
Smoke was coming out of
my nostrils as I banged down the phone, only to realise
that it was cellphone. The cover went flying and the
battery popped out. So I reassembled the phone and called
Nashua.
Of course Nashua told me to call Vodacom.
‘But I just called them and they
said I must call you because my contract is with you!’
I screamed unreasonably.
‘For any contract related queries
you can call us, sir,’ explained the gentleman,
‘for reception issues you have to call Vodacom.’
‘Hellohowyou Imfine’ said
a different voice eventually.
‘Can someone please tell me if
there is a 3G connection problem in my area!’
I barked.
‘Can you give me you cell number’ she responded.
That is not a typo. She really said ‘you cell
number.’
‘I don’t want to give you
my cell number’ I screamed. ‘All I want
is for someone to tell me if there is a reception problem
in my damn area!’
‘Is it for Internet’ she
asked.
‘Yes. It’s for Internet’ I hissed,
defeated.
‘Can you dial 155’ she said. ‘It’s
a free call’ she added proudly.
The guy who answered at 155 could speak
English, and he knew his business.
‘What is your exact address?’ he enquired.
When I gave it to him he asked me hold
on while he did some checking. I could hear him clicking
away on his keyboard.
‘There is no 3G reception in your
area sir’ he said when he returned.
‘So when will the problem be sorted’ I asked.
‘You don’t understand sir,’ he said.
‘There is no reception in that
area.’
‘But I have been using it here
for eight months.’ I said.
‘It can’t be sir. There
is no 3G reception in that area’ he explained
almost apologetically. Like he was talking to a mad
person.
Kader Khan
Editor
info@yummie.co.za
